Quick Trip to the Store / The Death of an Engineer

[Marcel in Longueuil]

Quick Trip to the Store

A woman rushed into the supermarket to pick up a few items.
She headed for the express line where the clerk was talking
on the phone with his back turned to her.

"Excuse me," she said, "I'm in a hurry. Could you check me
out, please?"

The clerk turned, stared at her for a second, looked her up
and down, smiled and said, "Not bad."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Death of an Engineer

An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates.
St. Peter checks his dossier and says, "Ah, you're an engineer --
you're in the wrong place."

So the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in.

Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements.
After a while, they've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is a pretty popular guy.

One day God calls Satan up on the telephone and says with a sneer, "So..how's it going down there in hell?"

Satan replies, "Hey, things are going great. We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is
going to come up with next."

God replies, "What??? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake -- he should never have gotten down there; send him up here."

Satan says, "No way. I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him."

God says, "Send him back or I'll sue."

Satan laughs uproariously and answers, "Yeah right, and just where are you going to get a lawyer?"