Two Dollar Bill.

[Pajaro]

Sorry for the long post.


STORY:

On my way home from work, I stopped at Taco Bell for
a quick bite to eat. In my billfold are a $50 bill and a $2
bill. I figure that with a $2 bill, I can get something to eat and
not have to worry about anyone getting irritated at me for
trying to break a $50 bill.

Me: "Hi, I'd like one seven-layer burrito please, to go."

Server: "That'll be $1.04. Eat in?"

Me: "No, it's to go." At this point, I open my billfold and
hand him the $2 bill. He looks at it kind of funny.

Server: "Uh, hang on a sec, I'll be right back."

He goes t o talk to his manager, who is still within my
earshot. The following conversation occurs between the two of them:

Server: "Hey, you ever see a $2 bill?"

Manager: "No. A what?"

Server: "A $2 bill. This guy just gave it to me."

Manager: "Ask for something else. There's no such thing as a
$2 bill."

Server: "Yeah, thought so." He comes back to me and says,
"We don't take these Do you have anything else?"

Me: "Just this fifty. You don't take $2 bills? Why?"

Server: "I don't know."

Me: "See here where it says legal tender?"

Server: "Yeah."

Me: "So, why won't you take it?"

Server: "Well, hang on a sec."

He goes back to his manager, who has been watching me
like I'm a shoplifter, and says to him, "He says I have to
take it."

Manager: "Doesn't he have anything else?"

Server: "Yeah, a fifty. I'll get it and you can open the
safe and get change.

Manager: "I'm not opening the safe with him in here."

Server: "What should I do?"

Manager: "Tell him to come back later when he has real
money."

Server: "I can't tell him that! You tell him."

Manager: "Just tell him."

Server: "No way! This is weird. I'm going in back.

The manager approaches me and says, "I'm sorry, but we don't
take big bills this time of night."

Me: "It's only seven o'clock! Well then, here's a two dollar
bill."

Manager: "We don't take those, either."

Me: "Why not?"

Manager: "I think you know why."

Me: "No really, tell me why."

Manager: "Please leave before I call mall security."

Me: "Excuse me?"

Manager: "Please leave before I call mall security."

Me: "What on earth for?"

Manager: "Please, sir."

Me: "Uh, go ahead, call them."

Manager: "Would you please just leave?"

Me: "No."

Manager: "Fine -- have i t your way then."

Me: "Hey, that's Burger King, isn't it?"

At this point, he backs away from me and calls mall security
on the phone around the corner. I have two people staring
at me from the dining area, and I begin laughing out loud,

just for effect. A few minutes later this 45-year-oldish guy comes in.

Guard: "Yeah, Mike , what's up?"

Manager (whispering): "This guy is trying to give me some
(pause) funny money."

Guard: "No kidding! What?"

Manager: "Get this. A two dollar bill."

Guard (incredulous): "Why would a guy fake a two dollar
bill?"

Manager: "I don't know. He's kinda weird. He says the only
other thing he has is a fifty."

Guard: "Oh, so the fifty's fake!"

Manager: "No, the two dollar bill is."

Guard: "Why would he fake a two dollar bill?"

Manager: "I don't know! Can you talk to him, and get him out
of here?"

Guard: "Yeah."

Security Guard walks over to me and......

Guard: " Mike here tells me you have some fake bills you're
trying to use."

Me: "Uh, no."

Guard: "Lemme see 'em."

Me: "Why?"
Guard: "Do you want me to get the cops in here?"

At this point I am ready to say, "Sure, please!" but I want
to eat, so I say, "I'm just trying to buy a burrito and pay for it
with this two dollar bill.

I put the bill up near his face, and he flinches like I 'm
taking a swing at him. He takes the bill, turns it over a few times in his
hands, and he says, "Hey, Mike , what's wrong with this bill?"

Manager: "It's fake."

Guard: "It doesn't look fake to me."

Manager: "But it's a two dollar bill."

Guard: "Yeah? "

Manager: "Well, there's no such thing, is there?"

The security guard and I both look at him like he's an idiot,
and it dawns on the guy that he has no clue.

So, it turns out that my burrito was free, and he threw in a
small drink and some of those cinnamon thingies, too. Made me want to
get a whole stack of two dollar bills just to see what happens when I try
to buy stuff.

If I got the right group of people, I could probably end up
in jail. You get free food there, too.

Just think...those two will be voting soon...................YIKES!

[guitarman]

Hey Pajaro, that is a very interesting story. I have a couple of two dollar bills that I've carried folded up in my wallet for over twenty years. I don't really know why but I do. I show them to my children and grandchildren once in a while and they look amazed that I had something like that. They have asked if they're any good or not and I always reply that they are. I guess I'll keep them in my wallet forever. Someday I'll show them again and it's will bring up some more interesting conversation. Thanks for the two dollar bill story. David

[Toolman56]

I too seen em, and when my former ranch-hobby farmer boss ,and he handed me a 3 -1 -thousand doller bill's to pay for cattle, i bout flip over , i never seen one ether, but yes very good story, thanks for chuckle

[Wood Dog]

That's a great story Pete.........wonder who they will vote for if they do even vote.

[Janette]

Never quite understood why the $2 bills never took off here. We had them in canada for years and every one knew they were real! Only place I've seen $2 bills given out was when we went to Monticello to Thomas Jefferson's - since he's on the bill- they give them out in change.

Guess you could carry around a card that says..."And here's your sign" !!!

[JohnB]

G'day Pete,
LOL that'd be a real funny story if a bloke wasn't starving.

We used to have $2.00 notes in Oz, but they were replaced with a $2.00 coin many years ago.

[Marcel in Longueuil]

Same here in Canada John,

They are starting to talk about doing the same for 5$ bills (replace them with coins) If I recall correctly (not sure about the numbers) a bill has a life expectancy of about 2 years, where a coin is something like 10 years.

Anyways the point was that the coins last a whole lot longer so the mint saves money in the long run.

And they are also talking about taking out the pennies because people just put them in a jar at home and don't use them, and each penny costs something like 2.5 cents to make.


Regards,
Marcel

[Pajaro]

The US did the paper to coin thing with the One dollar coins. Only some goober (in the gov.) decided that the one dollar coin be the same size as the $.25 cent coin. That went over like a big lead balloon. Vending machine owners loved it.

[Chase]

I once printed a $15 bill. Asked for change and got it; Two $6s and a $3.

Chase

[JohnB]

In a Federal election many years ago, one of the big unions sent everybody a $3.00 note, with a letter stating that it was worth what a certain political parties promises where LOL

Marcel,
We also dumped the 1 and 2 cent pieces. The smallest coin is now 5 cents.
Our $1.00 and $2.00 notes became coins, gold coloured so are commonly referred to as "Goldies"