Putting Your Affairs In Order - Scroll Saw Woodworking & Crafts Message Board

silverstar · 02-20-2008, 01:58 PM

A woman went to her doctor. The doctor, after an examination, sighed and
said, 'I've some bad news. You have cancer, and you'd best put your affairs
in order.'

The woman was shocked, but managed to compose herself and walk into the
waiting room where her daughter had been waiting.

'Well daughter, we women celebrate when things are good, and we celebrate
when things don't go so well. In this case, things aren't well. I have
cancer. Let's head to the club and have a martini.'

After 3 or 4 martinis, the two were feeling a little less somber. There
were some laughs and more martinis. They were eventually approached by some
of the woman's old friends, who were curious as to what the two were
celebrating.

The woman told her friends they were drinking to her impending end.
'I've been diagnosed with AIDS.'

The friends were aghast and gave the woman their condolences.

After the friends left, the woman's daughter leaned over and whispered,
'Momma, I thought you said you were dying of cancer, and you just told your
friends you were dying of AIDS.'

The woman said, 'I don't want any of those b$*%&#^ sleeping with your father
after I'm gone.'

That's 'Putting Your Affairs In Order.

PuzzledMoose · 02-20-2008, 04:10 PM

Another good one, Bruce. ROTFL

Andy · 02-20-2008, 11:51 PM

Too funny!! I certainly didn't anticipate that ending. ROTF LMBO

Andy

JimSawyer · 02-20-2008, 11:57 PM

Oh crimey... That was brilliant!! Good laugh Bruce. Thanks for busting my gut!

Nubbin · 02-21-2008, 12:40 AM

That's funny. Gotta watch out for the women and their sneakiness.

oops99 · 02-21-2008, 01:26 AM

Thanks Bruce, now THAT"S funny

Trout · 02-21-2008, 01:35 AM

the other day you posted about your cancer and that there wasn't any more the doctors could do for you...

then today you posted about your new lathe, my first thought was at least you were going out doing what you love to do...

then this post this message about putting your affairs in order...I wasn't expecting it to be a joke!

Trout

Tor · 02-21-2008, 05:53 AM

Another good chuckle, from a good joke.

Tor

silverstar · 02-21-2008, 01:26 PM

Trout, maybe there are some things that you shouldn't joke about, but I do. I'm not going to let this get me down. And my wife is very understanding, I mentioned something about I would like to learn how to turn so she orders me a lathe. And I already have all my affairs in order....

oops99 · 02-21-2008, 06:27 PM

Good for you Bruce, just do everything you want to do, so you'll never have to say "I should have....................."

I wish you the best in everything you do.

Tom

02-20-2008, 01:58 PM	#1
silverstar Bald member Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Va Posts: 142	Putting Your Affairs In Order A woman went to her doctor. The doctor, after an examination, sighed and said, 'I've some bad news. You have cancer, and you'd best put your affairs in order.' The woman was shocked, but managed to compose herself and walk into the waiting room where her daughter had been waiting. 'Well daughter, we women celebrate when things are good, and we celebrate when things don't go so well. In this case, things aren't well. I have cancer. Let's head to the club and have a martini.' After 3 or 4 martinis, the two were feeling a little less somber. There were some laughs and more martinis. They were eventually approached by some of the woman's old friends, who were curious as to what the two were celebrating. The woman told her friends they were drinking to her impending end. 'I've been diagnosed with AIDS.' The friends were aghast and gave the woman their condolences. After the friends left, the woman's daughter leaned over and whispered, 'Momma, I thought you said you were dying of cancer, and you just told your friends you were dying of AIDS.' The woman said, 'I don't want any of those b$%&#^ sleeping with your father after I'm gone.' That's 'Putting Your Affairs In Order. __________________ Bruce View some of my scrolling at my web site @www.woodworking.silverstarpage.net My veterans site @www.silverstarpage.com new 788 user Last edited by BobD; 02-20-2008 at 03:10 PM.*

02-20-2008, 04:10 PM	#2
PuzzledMoose Newly Customized Moose Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Truro, Nova Scotia Posts: 2,603	Another good one, Bruce. ROTFL __________________ Ian Scrolling with a Dewalt 788

02-20-2008, 11:51 PM	#3
Andy Pattern Person Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Ridgetown, Ontario, Canada Posts: 1,060	Too funny!! I certainly didn't anticipate that ending. ROTF LMBO Andy __________________ Shoot for the moon. If you miss you'll be headed for a star! www.80artdesigns.com

02-20-2008, 11:57 PM	#4
JimSawyer Laying into Inlay Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Lincoln, RI Posts: 1,198	Oh crimey... That was brilliant!! Good laugh Bruce. Thanks for busting my gut! __________________ Jim The limits of the imagination are imaginary. No task is too tedious for Art. Rock and Scroll My Website Featherwood Woodcrafts

02-21-2008, 12:40 AM	#5
Nubbin Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Titusville, Florida Posts: 725	That's funny. Gotta watch out for the women and their sneakiness. __________________ Andy Nobody told me when I became an engineer that I wouldn't get to drive a train.

02-21-2008, 01:26 AM	#6
oops99 Tom B. Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: New York Posts: 509	Thanks Bruce, now THAT"S funny __________________ oops99 KEEP THE PIECE Glue it back on, they'll never notice. DW788

02-21-2008, 01:35 AM	#7
Trout MrsTrout's Husband Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Hayward Calif. Posts: 1,784	you got to watch out for those mixed messages... the other day you posted about your cancer and that there wasn't any more the doctors could do for you... then today you posted about your new lathe, my first thought was at least you were going out doing what you love to do... then this post this message about putting your affairs in order...I wasn't expecting it to be a joke! Trout

02-21-2008, 05:53 AM	#8
Tor Mad Marqueteur Join Date: May 2007 Location: The "Green Side" in Hawaii Posts: 1,416	Another good chuckle, from a good joke. Tor __________________ I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it. - Thomas Jefferson Garden Island Marqueteur http://www.fineartmarquetry.com

02-21-2008, 01:26 PM	#9
silverstar Bald member Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Va Posts: 142	Trout, maybe there are some things that you shouldn't joke about, but I do. I'm not going to let this get me down. And my wife is very understanding, I mentioned something about I would like to learn how to turn so she orders me a lathe. And I already have all my affairs in order.... __________________ Bruce View some of my scrolling at my web site @www.woodworking.silverstarpage.net My veterans site @www.silverstarpage.com new 788 user

02-21-2008, 06:27 PM	#10
oops99 Tom B. Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: New York Posts: 509	Good for you Bruce, just do everything you want to do, so you'll never have to say "I should have....................." I wish you the best in everything you do. Tom __________________ oops99 KEEP THE PIECE Glue it back on, they'll never notice. DW788

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