Back2Jake

[Back2Jake]

Seems there is a little confusion over my new "name" here so here's the story behind it.

My ex was connected to some underground associations, and I am in the witness protection program. I have dyed my hair purple with fashionable streaks to make me blend in with the cloth racks in the stores. (Short enough to dissappear in a crowd of racks) My local police authorities have limited budget and this is the best they can do for protection right now, yep another night a new Walmart to stay at.

I'm not worried, I just have to undergo months of personal training to slim down because the new wardrobe and sports car are waiting for me when I arrive in my new location.

Seriously... It's just a name change.
Take care
Toni

[Dragon]

Oh?...ok then.

[Andy]

Oh to be able to bask in the complexities of reality vs. dissolusionment. LOLOLOL

Andy

[GrayBeard Phil]

{Quickly snapping of fingers}
<In voice of a Hollywood sleaze producer>

Yeah, I got it!!!!

See, we get some nobody to be this bureaucrat, half asleep type.....
Gets instructions to create a cover name for some witness protection type named Toni, only this bureaucrat thinks the name is spelled with a "Y"...

Sets up the new ID as Jake something....New Job, New Town, yada, yada, yada...

So, the RCMP guy, say Kevin Costner, is expecting a "Tony" to show up, not knowing that the witness is..... Someone quickly now. who??

YES!! Susan Sarandon, right on--She'd make a great "Jake"
(They can pick it up where the heat from their previous movie Bull Durham, that baseball one, left off....)

Anyway the "Jake" shows up and instant guy-girl no communications....At each others throat....total botched witness protection set up. Each blames the other.
Cut to everyone doing the cell phone bit to complain to anyone who will answer the phone...

Yea, and the new boss of the job lined up for the new "Jake" is.. let's see...

{snapping of fingers..}
John Goodman...Yeah, John Goodman runs this woodworking shop, Kitchen Cabinets or some such. We tell the director we need another Bosses' office scene where the John's cigar catches fire again, but we want it funnier than that airplane movie John did,
but we leave the scene on the film editor's floor.

Yeah, Bureaucrat got that wrong too, Tony is supposed to know woodworking but is just artist who uses wood as art media....thus "Jake" doesn't know 'box joint' from 'box wrench.'

HOLD IT!!!
Maybe Harrison Ford for the RCMP... You remember, that Amish movie,
{Snapping of Fingers} Wittiness, or some such title, where he helps build that Barn...Audience loved that scene...

Naw, Susan is all wrong for Harrison, Wait...Wait...Wait it's coming....
That Italian chick, what's her name, the one that played that car expert in that Vinny movie....Marisa Tomei....Yeah, if she can make the audience believe she re-built a few 'tran-nies' in her father's garage, she could easily convince that audience she could learn to cut a few dovetails by the end of the movie....

OK, so "Jake" gets into the new ID, and finally, bureaucrat, discover's mistake, creates another ID, Jillian or some such "J" name... thus setting up the end of movie line "Yeah, I went back to being called Jake. I kind-a-liked the people who called me Jake."

OK, this just might make a movie, let's get some writers on this, get some funding for the upfront work and set up a few interviews for director...

Let's go people... Hollywood is not waiting for us.

[Back2Jake]

ROFLAMO, ah Phil.... that one took me awhile to read and re-read.

I knew you'd figure it out.

I prefer Susan Sarandon (one of my favorite actresses) but apparently Marisa Tomei is the in house crowd favorite for the real life Jake. Go figure... I had to Google her to know who she was so there is irony there.

Thanks for the time commitment on that reply - well thought out.
Take care
Toni

[Andy]

Oh my ... you're onto something Phil ... is the writers strike still going on? Just think the "touch" you could add as an influence to Lost!! ROTF LMBO