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Old 12-24-2007, 06:12 AM   #1
1 Tin Soldier Rides Away
 
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Default Just about sums it up ;)

G'day all,
If this wasn't so true it would be funny.
It may still bring a smile

Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck...
How to live in a world that's politically correct?
His workers no longer would answer to "Elves",
"Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves.

And labour conditions at the North Pole
Were alleged by the union to stifle the soul.
Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety,
Released to the wilds by the Humane Society.

And equal employment had made it quite clear
That Santa had better not use just reindeer.
So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid,
Were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid!

The runners had been removed from his sleigh;
The ruts were termed dangerous by the C.A.A.
And people had started to call for the cops
When they heard sled noises on their rooftops.

Second-hand smoke from his pipe had his workers quite frightened.
His fur trimmed red suit was called "Unenlightened."
And to show you the strangeness of life's ebbs and flows:
Rudolf was suing over unauthorized use of his nose.

So, half of the reindeer were gone; and his wife,
Who suddenly said she'd enough of this life,
Joined a self-help group, packed, and left in a whiz,
Demanding from now on her title was Ms.

And as for the gifts, why, he'd never a notion
That making a choice could cause so much commotion.
Nothing of leather, nothing of fur,
Which meant nothing for him. And nothing for her.

Nothing that might be construed to pollute.
Nothing to aim. Nothing to shoot.
Nothing that clamoured or made lots of noise.
Nothing for just girls. Or just for the boys.

Nothing that claimed to be gender specific.
Nothing that's warlike or non-pacific.
No candy or sweets...they were bad for the tooth.
Nothing that seemed to embellish a truth.

And fairy tales, while not yet forbidden,
Were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden.
For they raised the hackles of those psychological
Who claimed the only good gift was one ecological.

Dolls were said to be sexist, and should be passé;
And Nintendo would rot your entire brain away.
So Santa just stood there, dishevelled, perplexed;
He just could not figure out what to do next.

He tried to be merry, tried to be gay,
But you've got to be careful with that word today.
His sack was quite empty, limp to the ground;
Nothing fully acceptable was to be found.

Something special was needed, a gift that he might
Give to all without angering the left or the right.
A gift that would satisfy, with no indecision,
Each group of people, every religion;

Every ethnicity, every hue,
Everyone, everywhere...even YOU.
So here is that gift, it's price beyond worth...
"May you and your loved ones enjoy peace on earth."
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Clowns to the left of me,
Jokers to the right, here I am,
Stuck in the middle with you.

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Retired Medically Unfit WA Police Officers
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Old 12-24-2007, 06:25 AM   #2
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Good one John!
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Old 12-24-2007, 06:30 AM   #3
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Default

Too true John.

Ho Ho HO...oh I forgot, the political correct police want to ban that saying to
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Old 12-24-2007, 11:20 AM   #4
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Sad, but how true. How true. May the new year bring peace, health and happiness to you and your family.
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Old 12-24-2007, 01:16 PM   #5
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good one john, i was once working in a trench and a guy came up to me and said " Peace on you" and i said, "not from up there you wont".
G'day mate..
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Old 12-24-2007, 02:21 PM   #6
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John
How true............ Politicaly correct to me means......Bull s#*t! Just a bunch of tight A#*es trying to tighten mine.......well up theirs!


HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO ALL!!!!!!!!!!!
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