It's Tourist Time Again In Canada

[William Young (SE BC)]

Once again Tourist Season is upon us, so be kind to the American Tourist -
Hopefully he/she will spend money in Canada!


The following questions/comments were directed to Canadian
Park Wardens (by American tourists) at Banff National Park :

1/ How do the elk know they are supposed to cross at the
"Elk Crossing" signs?
2/ At what elevation does an elk become a moose?
3/ Tourist "How do you pronounce 'elk'"?
Park staff "Elk"
Tourist "Oh"
4/ Are the bears with collars tame?
5/ Is there anywhere I can see the bears pose?
6/ Is it okay to keep an open bag of bacon on the picnic table,
or should I store it in my tent?
7/ Where can I find Alpine Flamingoes?
8/ I saw an animal on the way to Banff today - could you
tell me what it was?
9/ Are there birds in Canada?
10/ Did I miss the turnoff for Canada?
11/ Where does Alberta end and Canada begin?
12/ Do you have a map of the state of Jasper?
13/ Is this the part of Canada that speaks French, or is that Saskatchewan?
14/ If I go to B.C., do I have to go through Ontario?
15/ Which is the way to the Columbia Ricefields?
16/ How far is Banff from Canada?
17/ What's the best way to see Canada in a day?
18/ Do they search you at the B.C. border?
19/ When we enter B.C. do we have to convert our money to British pounds?
20/ Where can I buy a raccoon hat? All Canadians own one, don't they?
21/ Are there phones in Banff?
22/ So it's eight kilometres away ........... is that in miles?
23/ We're on the decibel system, you know ........
24/ Where can I get my husband really, REALLY, lost?
25/ Is that two kilometres by foot, or by car?
26/ Where do you put the animals at night?
27/ Tourist - "How do you get your lakes so blue?"
Park staff - "We take the water out in the winter and paint the bottom"
Tourist - "Oh!"

[MikeDingas]

So...if I come to Canada to visit you do I have to cross the border?

[PuzzledMoose]

LOL I like those, Bill. Some of them I'd seen before in a little book called "What time do they let the animals out?" that I bought when I was in Banff a few years ago. Kept me amused for a while - that and the CD here - 3rd item down http://www.seashellcity.com/gift_sho..._for_kids.html

I think that CD has been hidden now - and before anyone says it - nah, I never grew up ..

[MikeDingas]

Now that Vancouver has won the chance to host the 2010 Winter Olympics these are some questions people the world over are asking!!!! Believe it or not these questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism Website (frightening, isn't it!)

Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK)
A. We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die.

Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
A: Depends on how much you've been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto-can I follow the Railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of water.

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.

Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed Beaver. (Italy)
A: Let's not touch this one.

Q: Are there any ATM's (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? (USA
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Ca-na-da is that big country to your North...oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.

Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)
A: No, WE don't stink.

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you sell it in Canada? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.

Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)
A: Only at Thanksgiving.

Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gathers. Milk is illegal.

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA)
A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.

[CanadianScroller]

These do sound funny.
I can really relate to some of them, perhaps not from the Canadian point of view.
Wen I was 6 we went to see some movies about Canada, my parents thought of immigration.
They were told by the immigration officer that all Canadians are bilingual.
I think he should have said all Canadian products are bilingual, because I still only speak English.
One of the movies I saw was of a dogsled race in either Ottawa or Montreal, I am not sure since I was so small. It was a winter festival. I thought that was the mode of transportation over most of the frozen north.
I saw movies with Natives wearing feather bonnets, and paddling canoes
I came to Canada and found things were not exactly as I saw them.
I crossed Canada when I was 11.
I was surprised that the prairie provinces were not a flat table stretching from Ontario to British Columbia.
I was also surprise that the Pacific Ocean was not surrounded by palm trees.

I guess like we see in the posts, ignorance is bliss.

[Tor]

Come see me, and you may have the same sort of experience again. The beaches are not all full of palms, despite what pictures may try to get you to believe. It gets cold enough that you will often see people with warm clothes on (not quite your definition of warm clothes, however, or at least so I would guess from where you live.) We have rather ordinary houses, again despite what movies would tell you. Plenty of people don't lounge on the beach all day long (too much to do in the shop.)

Guess there is no place you can go to get away from preconceived misconceptions about your hometown.

At least we can bust the myths here, with people from so many places

Tor

[knothead]

I am very offended that you would say something like that about Americans coming to Canada. We would never say anything like that when Canadians come to Arizona!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[MikeDingas]

Me too!! In protest I'm boycotting the sale of all peaches grown in Canada.

[William Young (SE BC)]

Knothead.
It was not me or anyone else here that said anything like that about Americans. . Check the top of the message and it says where the information came from.

The following questions/comments were directed to Canadian
Park Wardens (by American tourists) at Banff National Park :

Then the follow up that Mike Dingas put in were not comments from him either. They were ones from different countries

Now that Vancouver has won the chance to host the 2010 Winter Olympics these are some questions people the world over are asking!!!! Believe it or not these questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism Website (frightening, isn't it!)

I suppose similar things are said from anyone visiting any country in the world and I believe they are recorderd and considered to be comical rather than insulting however there will always be a few that take such things in a negative way.

W.Y.

[CanadianScroller]

It is funny that we can buy American peaches and apples cheaper than we can buy Canadian peaches and apples.
I am sure many don't know we have several banana plantations in the Okanagan too.
I am still a little frustrated that magazines and books have such different prices on them but thats life in this crazy world