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|04-10-2012, 08:35 PM||#1|
IM BACK SORTA
Join Date: Sep 2009
Thanked 24 Times in 17 Posts
2/3's of a Pun----- P U
I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
When chemists die, they barium.
Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.
I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.
PMS jokes aren't funny; period.
Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.
Were going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.
I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
When you get a bladder infection urine trouble.
Broken pencils are pointless.
I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.
All the toilets in New York's police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.
I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
Haunted French pancakes give me the crÍpes.
Velcro what a rip off!
A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.
Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!
The earthquake in Washington obviously was the government's fault.
Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.
|04-10-2012, 08:58 PM||#2|
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Big Island in Hawaii
Thanked 19 Times in 19 Posts
Oily, you have way to much time on your hands....
|04-11-2012, 02:06 PM||#4|
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: MA USA
Thanked 22 Times in 20 Posts
Those are great Oily thanks for sharing your find.
WD aka: Gloria
" Two difficult things to say in life are Hello for the first time and Goodby for the last"
|04-11-2012, 02:56 PM||#5|
Laying into Inlay
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Lincoln, RI
Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
Some of those were awesome... genius even...
...Does a polite brick-layer have a mason grace...
The limits of the imagination are imaginary.
No task is too tedious for Art.
Rock and Scroll
Last edited by JimSawyer; 04-11-2012 at 02:59 PM.
|04-12-2012, 10:23 AM||#6|
100% toilet trained!
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Pachuca, Mexico
Thanked 53 Times in 46 Posts
Hey Rob - some really funny ones in that list - topical too...
A couple of days back I was evaluating the use of barium hydroxide on the factory to solve a small technical problem I had and when I asked the purchasing dept to find me a sample from a local supplier I was immediately hit by a flurry of health & safety concerns seeing as the stuff is poisonous. I now have your number 2 pun as an answer for them if I cock my toes during the tests!
Jim in Mexico
Dozing off? - nah, I'm creatively thinking with my eyes closed!
|04-12-2012, 10:43 AM||#7|
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: New Jersey
Thanked 16 Times in 15 Posts
Some of the best yet. I have to send them to my kids who will love them while they groan.
A day without sawdust is a day without sunshine.
delta 650, hawk G426