two aliens - Scroll Saw Woodworking & Crafts Message Board

journeyman · 10-08-2009, 12:18 AM

Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near a gas station that was closed for the night. They approached one of the gas pumps and the younger alien addressed it saying, "Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader".

The gas pump, of course, didn't respond. The younger alien became angry at the lack of response.

The older alien said, "I'd calm down if I were you"

Ignoring the warning the younger alien repeated his greeting.

Again, there was no response.

Annoyed by what he perceived to be the pump's haughty attitude, he drew his ray gun and said again, impatiently, "Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Please do not ignore us. Take us to your leader or I will fire!"

The older alien again warned his comrade saying, "You probably don't want to do that. I really don't think you should make him mad."

"Rubbish," replied the cocky young alien and with that he aimed his weapon at the pump and opened fire. There was a huge explosion and a massive fireball roared towards them and blew the young alien off his feet, depositing him a burnt, smoking mess about 200 yards away in a cactus patch.

About half an hour later he finally regained consciousness. He refocused his three eyes, straightened his bent antenna and looked dazedly at the older, wiser alien who was standing over him shaking his big green head.

"What a ferocious creature!" exclaimed the young, fried alien. "He damn near killed me! How did you know he was so dangerous?"

The older alien leaned over, placed a friendly feeler on his crispy young friend and replied, "If there's one thing I've learned during my intergalactic travels.... you really don't want to mess with a guy who can loop his penis over his shoulder twice... and then stick it in his ear."

JohnB · 10-08-2009, 03:26 AM

ROFLMAO again and again

knothead · 10-08-2009, 12:59 PM

Being from AZ. I think I know that guy.

Tom

scrollpup · 10-09-2009, 02:36 AM

ROFLMAO!!!

Jerry

10-08-2009, 12:18 AM	#1
journeyman Rock 'n Scroller Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Yorkshire, England Posts: 328	two aliens Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near a gas station that was closed for the night. They approached one of the gas pumps and the younger alien addressed it saying, "Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader". The gas pump, of course, didn't respond. The younger alien became angry at the lack of response. The older alien said, "I'd calm down if I were you" Ignoring the warning the younger alien repeated his greeting. Again, there was no response. Annoyed by what he perceived to be the pump's haughty attitude, he drew his ray gun and said again, impatiently, "Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Please do not ignore us. Take us to your leader or I will fire!" The older alien again warned his comrade saying, "You probably don't want to do that. I really don't think you should make him mad." "Rubbish," replied the cocky young alien and with that he aimed his weapon at the pump and opened fire. There was a huge explosion and a massive fireball roared towards them and blew the young alien off his feet, depositing him a burnt, smoking mess about 200 yards away in a cactus patch. About half an hour later he finally regained consciousness. He refocused his three eyes, straightened his bent antenna and looked dazedly at the older, wiser alien who was standing over him shaking his big green head. "What a ferocious creature!" exclaimed the young, fried alien. "He damn near killed me! How did you know he was so dangerous?" The older alien leaned over, placed a friendly feeler on his crispy young friend and replied, "If there's one thing I've learned during my intergalactic travels.... you really don't want to mess with a guy who can loop his penis over his shoulder twice... and then stick it in his ear." __________________ I'm scrolling along on the crest of a wave

10-08-2009, 03:26 AM	#2
JohnB 1 Tin Soldier Rides Away Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Kalgoorlie, Western Australia Posts: 4,859	ROFLMAO again and again __________________ Regards John "The Golden Mile" I got holes in both of my shoes Well I'm a walking case of the blues Saw a dollar yesterday But the wind blew it away Some of my Stuff Retired Medically Unfit WA Police Officers

10-08-2009, 12:59 PM	#3
knothead Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: ARIZONA Posts: 720	Being from AZ. I think I know that guy. Tom __________________ Tom ___________________ America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we falter and lose our freedoms, it will be because we destroyed ourselves. Abraham Lincoln

10-09-2009, 02:36 AM	#4
scrollpup Avatar by Casey Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Hot Springs,Arkansas Posts: 1,732	ROFLMAO!!! Jerry __________________ Two wrongs don't make a right....they just even the score...

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