Ethel the FI driver - Scroll Saw Woodworking & Crafts Message Board

jim_mex · 09-02-2009, 02:39 AM

If you are easily offended by sex jokes please stay away!

Ethel was a bit of a demon in her wheelchair, and loved to charge around the nursing home, taking corners on one wheel and getting up to maximum speed on the long corridors.

Because the poor woman was one sandwich short of a picnic the other residents tolerated her and some of them actually joined in.

One day Ethel was speeding up one corridor when a door opened and Kooky Clarence stepped out with his arm outstretched. 'STOP!,' he shouted in a firm voice. 'Have you got a license for that thing?' Ethel fished around in her handbag and pulled out a Snickers wrapper and held it up to him. 'OK' he said, and away Ethel sped down the hall.

As she took the corner near the TV lounge on one wheel, weird Harold popped out in front of her and shouted 'STOP! Have you got proof of insurance?' Ethel dug into her handbag, pulled out a drink coaster and held it up to him. Harold nodded and said 'On your way, Ma'am.'

As Ethel neared the final corridor, Crazy Craig stepped out in front of her, stark-naked, and holding his 'You-Know- What' in his hand. 'Oh, good grief,' yelled Ethel, 'Not that Damn Breathalyzer Test again.!!!'

JohnB · 09-02-2009, 02:54 AM

Jim, I just choked........................on my coffee

scrollpup · 09-02-2009, 02:58 AM

Not gonna show the wife this one! LOL

Jerry

JohnB · 09-02-2009, 01:03 PM

Go on Jerry, Dare ya mate

knothead · 09-02-2009, 01:23 PM

Nice one Jim.

Tom

Mick Walker · 09-02-2009, 08:18 PM

Jim, your are really a dirty old man. Wasn't expecting that punch line.

09-02-2009, 02:39 AM	#1
jim_mex 'Senior' member - no way! Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Pachuca, Mexico Posts: 1,788	Ethel the FI driver If you are easily offended by sex jokes please stay away! Ethel was a bit of a demon in her wheelchair, and loved to charge around the nursing home, taking corners on one wheel and getting up to maximum speed on the long corridors. Because the poor woman was one sandwich short of a picnic the other residents tolerated her and some of them actually joined in. One day Ethel was speeding up one corridor when a door opened and Kooky Clarence stepped out with his arm outstretched. 'STOP!,' he shouted in a firm voice. 'Have you got a license for that thing?' Ethel fished around in her handbag and pulled out a Snickers wrapper and held it up to him. 'OK' he said, and away Ethel sped down the hall. As she took the corner near the TV lounge on one wheel, weird Harold popped out in front of her and shouted 'STOP! Have you got proof of insurance?' Ethel dug into her handbag, pulled out a drink coaster and held it up to him. Harold nodded and said 'On your way, Ma'am.' As Ethel neared the final corridor, Crazy Craig stepped out in front of her, stark-naked, and holding his 'You-Know- What' in his hand. 'Oh, good grief,' yelled Ethel, 'Not that Damn Breathalyzer Test again.!!!' __________________ Jim in Mexico “Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.” -Albert Einstein

09-02-2009, 02:54 AM	#2
JohnB 1 Tin Soldier Rides Away Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Kalgoorlie, Western Australia Posts: 4,860	Jim, I just choked........................on my coffee __________________ Regards John "The Golden Mile" I got holes in both of my shoes Well I'm a walking case of the blues Saw a dollar yesterday But the wind blew it away Some of my Stuff Retired Medically Unfit WA Police Officers

09-02-2009, 02:58 AM	#3
scrollpup Avatar by Casey Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Hot Springs,Arkansas Posts: 1,732	Not gonna show the wife this one! LOL Jerry __________________ Two wrongs don't make a right....they just even the score...

09-02-2009, 01:03 PM	#4
JohnB 1 Tin Soldier Rides Away Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Kalgoorlie, Western Australia Posts: 4,860	Go on Jerry, Dare ya mate __________________ Regards John "The Golden Mile" I got holes in both of my shoes Well I'm a walking case of the blues Saw a dollar yesterday But the wind blew it away Some of my Stuff Retired Medically Unfit WA Police Officers

09-02-2009, 01:23 PM	#5
knothead Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: ARIZONA Posts: 720	Nice one Jim. Tom __________________ Tom ___________________ America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we falter and lose our freedoms, it will be because we destroyed ourselves. Abraham Lincoln

09-02-2009, 08:18 PM	#6
Mick Walker Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Janesville, WI Posts: 1,338	Jim, your are really a dirty old man. Wasn't expecting that punch line. __________________ Mick, - Delta P-20 The future ain't what it used to be.

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