Welcome to Scroll Saw Woodworking & Crafts Message Board, an online scroll saw forum community where you can join thousands of scrollers from around the world discussing all things related to Scrolling. To gain full access to the message board you must register for a free account. As a registered member you will be able to:

 * Browse over 200,000 posts.
 * Communicate privately with other scrollers from around the world.
 * Post your own photos or view from 7,000 user submitted images.
 * Gain access to exclusive scroll saw promotions offered by Scroll Saw Woodworking & Crafts and Fox Chapel Publishing.

All this and much more is available to you absolutely free when you register for an account, so sign up today!

If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact the Scroll Saw Woodworking & Crafts Support Team.

Go Back   Scroll Saw Woodworking & Crafts Message Board > Magazine and Members > Off Topic > Jokes
Connect with Facebook

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 08-05-2009, 11:14 AM   #1
American Crafstman
 
Jediscroller's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Galaxy far, far away
Posts: 3,164
Blog Entries: 6
Default The Cowboy and the Yuppie

Normally I don't bother with these, but this one was just too funny not to share.

A cowboy:

A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in California when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him.

The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes , RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, Will you give me a calf?"



Bud looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?"



The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone , and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.



The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg , Germany



Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.



Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi- tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."



"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Bud.



He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.



Then the Bud says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"



The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"



"You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government", says Bud.



"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about cows...this is a

herd of sheep. ..

Now give me back my dog.
__________________
Kevin
Scrollsaw Patterns Online
Making holes in wood with an EX-30, Craftsman 16" VS, Dremel 1680 and 1671
Jediscroller is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT. The time now is 10:01 AM.



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.3
Copyright ©2000 - 2010, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
SEO by vBSEO 3.3.0