Disturbed Man Threatening Sea Lions Kerrysworld Times 29-03-2007
A deranged man who goes only by the name "dukenukem" was arrested yesterday for the attempted slaughter of several Sea Lions on the west coast of continental U.S.
"Duke" was spotted by vacationers on one Californian beach known for its Sea Lion popoulation carrying what looked like a yellow anvil with some sort of blade attached to it and shouting manically "be scrolling" over and over and lunging at the seals from behind rocks.
However the weight of his yellow anvil prevented him from being able to ambush the seals and they just casually slid to the safety of the water.
Says one witness, "He looked to the heavens and bellowed, 'TOO MANY HOLES I TELLS YA!!! TOO MANY HOLES!!!!!'"
Constable Bob Duncanc says, "We arrested Duke on the grounds of being a nusiance but we were really more interested in that yellow anvil he had."
Duke is currently being held for obervation at the Toni Burghout mental facility.
Kerrysworld/Reuters.
